Graduation and a Broken Heart
by Ashley Scott
Summary: Right after Jess leaves for California. The events that take place after Lorelai has told Rory about Jess' leaving. Please RR.
1. Left to Wonder

Okay just a quick note to those reading this, you are going to laugh. Not at what I was trying to accomplish but at the fact that I am such a novice. Please be kind. I promise to remember such kindness in the future.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Gilmore Girls nor the rights to such a wonderful show and by writing this I am only promoting that which I do love. Plus, in sewing me, the only thing you will obtain is a stick of gum from 1997. (Just kidding...it's really from 1994.)  
  
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As the scene opens, Rory Gilmore is sitting on her bed buried beneath the mountain of work that has fallen upon her in the wake of Graduation. She has not touched one paper since her mother revealed to her the night before that Jess Mariano, the man of her dreams, was gone. No one knew where he was, well no one but Luke. She sighed and turned her head to her dresser. Upon the oak dresser sat a book. The last one she borrowed from Jess. She smiled slightly thinking about him and where he was, and then the smile faded. In the background you can hear "Rockabye" playing.  
  
Rory sighed. There is a knock on the door.  
  
"Yes?" she asked.  
  
"Honey, are you okay? Paris called and was wondering where you were today for the Senior Picnic. You can't stay in there forever. Besides, I have coffee!" Lorelai pleaded with her daughter as she stood outside the door with two cups of coffee in hand.  
  
"No coffee today," the depressed teenager replied as she rolled to one side on her bed. She hoped this would send her mother away in a confused state. When she heard no response from outside the door, Rory began to wonder a bit. There was no loud thud to imply that her mother had fainted and she hadn't heard any sounds of porcelain breaking. Rather than be worried by all this, she decided to get up and open the door. As she opened the door, she found the coffee was sitting to one side and her mother was now in a desperate attempt to pick her lock.  
  
"You could have just turned the knob."  
  
"I thought about it, but I figured you might have locked the door."  
  
"No, I didn't."  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, honey. I really am!"  
  
"Doesn't matter, if you had told me sooner we still would be here and he would be somewhere else." Lorelai couldn't help but stand up and embrace her daughter. She wanted to take away all the pain, and just see Rory smile again, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. Not at this moment, when all the world seemed darker.  
  
"Well if it makes you feel any better, I have chocolate!" she exclaimed as she pulled her daughter back enough to look at her face. That pale face, soaked in the tears of a lost love. She knew the face all to well.  
  
"Mom, I love you and I appreciate all this but the truth is I need the coffee and I need to work." Rory wiped away a tear that had managed to get through and she looked at Lorelai.  
  
"Oh yeah, you have to write that speech, Ms. Valedictorian," she relished at that thought.  
  
"Yeah. Coffee?" Rory asked, in a half begging tone.  
  
"Can I read the speech when you are done?"  
  
"No, I don't want anyone to see it till Graduation."  
  
"Fine." Lorelai handed Rory the coffee and the teen went back into her grey world.  
  
As the door closed, Lorelai wondered if anything could bring Rory back from the doldrums. 


	2. As the Tide Rolled In

Thanks for the support. It's good to know I'm not completely clueless when it comes to writing. So here is Chapter Two.  
  
Disclaimer: As I said, I don't own Gilmore Girls but I wish I did. This is only to support the show and express my love for it. By sewing me, you will gain, the stick of gum mentioned in Chapter One and some lint I found in my pocket today. I know you want that lint, it's nice lint.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scene changes from Rory and her state of depression to a sunny beach in California. A young man looks out onto the water watching the waves roll in and out. The world seems to not exist as he has drifted into a state of numbness. He rethinks the events that have just occurred and plays them back in his head. What was he doing? Why was he here? An older gentleman, with the same facial features and dark eyes walks up and puts his hand on the younger man's right shoulder.  
  
"What happened this morning? I woke up and you were already gone."  
  
The young man sat for a moment, his mind still numb to the surrounding world. Lightening could strike the sand just a few feet from his face, and he probably wouldn't even notice.  
  
"Hey, Jess! Hello! I'm talking to you."  
  
Jess looked up now, slightly a little dazed. He wondered how long his father had been standing there. "Yeah?"  
  
"I asked what happened to you this morning."  
  
"Oh I woke up and went to a coffee shop. I needed to do something," Jess responded. He began to stand up so that he could face the man that he called, "Dad."  
  
"So how did you sleep last night?"  
  
"Okay I suppose. We need to talk about the dogs though?"  
  
"You don't like them?"  
  
"Not when I'm waking up face to rear."  
  
"Well Jess, you came here. I didn't bring you here, so I am afraid you have to deal. Which leads me to my next question...."  
  
Jess knew what was coming. He had been waiting for it ever since he arrived in Venice Beach.  
  
".....why did you leave Stars Hollow?"  
  
Jess shrugged. He really didn't feel like explaining his actions to someone of less intelligence than Dean, but it was his Father. Still, this man walked out on him the day he was born, could he really be that open with someone he hardly knew. It wasn't like Rory. Rory. He smiled slightly at the thought of her, and then frowned. She had to know he was gone by now, and if not, Jess was pretty sure Luke had told Lorelai.  
  
"So you left a good home for no reason?"  
  
"I guess. What does it matter? I can't go back."  
  
"Well what do you intend to do then?"  
  
"To tell you the truth, I don't know. In forty-eight hours my life has been turned upside down. No correction, it's always been upside down."  
  
"Then maybe you should try and make sense of what matters most to you Jess, and then work on making that great. Perhaps once you do that, other things will fall into place."  
  
Jess knew it wasn't that simple. The older gentleman peered at his watch.  
  
"I have to go to work. Try not to get into any trouble."  
  
"Because that's what I am best at right? Getting into trouble?"  
  
"I have no time for your childish antics. Jess, I have a job and if I don't leave now I will be late. I will see you later."  
  
"Okay, fine."  
  
As his father left, Jess turned back and looked at the water once more. He wondered what Rory was doing right now. 


	3. Soft Kisses and I Love You

Did everyone enjoy the last chapter? I thought so, or else you still wouldn't be reading this. Now I have you entangled in my little creation, you will never leave. (Insert evil laughter here.)  
  
Disclaimer: I wished I owned the rights to Gilmore Girls, then maybe I would be able to afford my dream college. Again I am just promoting my favorite show and I beg you, the owners of the rights to Gilmore Girls to not sue me. Adding to the list of what you may achieve from me, I also have a band-aide. It's never been used, if that makes it any better, and has been sitting in my pocket since the beginning of May. So you can have a stick of gum from 1994, some fine looking lint, and a band-aide.  
  
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As we get lost in the oceans ripples, we are brought back to a bright blue sky over Stars Hollow. Dave is coming down the street with some flowers in hand for Lane. Her graduation was coming up in a few days, but he wanted to celebrate now. As he strolls down the street The White Stripes, "Fell in Love With A Girl" is playing. As he reaches the Kim's front door, he takes in the sweet smell of the beautiful day. It was intoxicating, but not as wonderful as the sight of Lane.  
  
As David knocked on the door, he was greeted by Mrs. Kim.  
  
"Oh hello David. Lane is upstairs. I will call her for you."  
  
As Mrs. Kim enters the house, David takes a seat on the porch, but is quickly standing once more as Lane comes out to greet him.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing here?"  
  
He fiddled for a moment, searching for the right words, but no success. "I brought you some roses."  
  
Lane took the flowers from him. She held them to her nose and took in the sweet aroma. She opened her eyes, not even realizing she had closed them. "I love them, thank you."  
  
Her smiled made him forget everything he was going to tell her. Every encouraging word he had for her big day was leaving him. He didn't know what it was, or what brought him to say it but he did.  
  
"Lane, I love you."  
  
There was a silence. Not the one he had anticipated of course, but an awkward pause. Lane started at David for a long time.  
  
"You love me?"  
  
Okay, not the best response to give someone, but Lane kept telling herself it was better than Rory's to Dean.  
  
"Lane, I love being around you and just the thought of you fills me with inspiration. Something inside me is right, the kind of right that I have never felt before."  
  
She stared at him, and finally she spoke.  
  
"I....love you too."  
  
He looked at her now, but seeing her in a new light. She was no longer just his girlfriend but she was his love. His first love, his true love. Hearing her say those words made him want to write a new song.  
  
"I have to finish some stuff for graduation. I'm sorry."  
  
"No, it's alright. I will call you later. Hearing those words from you, was worth the trip."  
  
He smiled at her now, and she couldn't help but think how stupid she was to hesitate with her answer. Lane wanted to smack her head into the door a few times but realized that would inflict too much pain.  
  
"Alright, I will talk to you then."  
  
She turned to walk into the house, but then decided against it.  
  
"Thank you for the flowers," she said turning around to face him. He was standing closer to her now.  
  
"You're welcome," he replied in the calm cool he had perfected.  
  
Lane kissed him on the lips softly and whispered to him softly, "I love you." David stood there for a moment in shock and then she went inside. How did she manage to do that? Magically after having his breathe taken by Aphrodite herself, David found his car and drove home. 


	4. West Coast Email and Porch Visitors

See, I said there might be some Dave and Lane stuff in here. Shocked aren't you? Of course you are my wonderful fan-fiction fanatics. By the way, the last chapter had a song by the White Stripes. If you don't know who they are, you are missing out on an awesome band.  
  
Disclaimer: (Begs on her knees) Could we work out a compromise? You pay for my college education and I will keep writing for free to express the superiority that you have over me? I guess not. Oh well, I don't own any part of Gilmore Girls and I am writing this just to promote my love for the show. So here's another thing you can have as payment if you wish, a hair tie. It's a black, elastic hair tie. The list is getting there, and to think I'm not done emptying my pockets yet! Oh and I don't own any part of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Just promoting them as well, but if they want something from a poor college kid, there is some hair from the hair tie. It's pretty!  
  
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Scene fades back to Rory's room as she is attempting to write a Graduation speech. Maybe she shouldn't have studied so much, she thought to herself. Then I wouldn't be in this mess. She sipped the escence of life, known as coffee to the rest of the world. Then there was a loud moan.  
  
"Why can't I think?" Rory began to wonder to herself. Why did Jess have to leave now, when the entire world seemed to be caving in on her. She felt herself being pulled into a dark abyss. Unable to swim to the ledge and escape. She leaned back in her chair now and looked out the window. Suddenly there was a knock on the door.  
  
"Sweetie, I'm hungry. Could we go and get some food?" It was her mother, and she was having hunger pains already. Rory really didn't feel like leaving her room today. She felt safe there, like if she stayed there long enough everything bad would go away.  
  
"Oompa, Loompa, Doompa-de-do. I have another riddle..." Lorelai began to sing. Rory could only imagine the next things out of her mother's pop- culture obsessed self.  
  
"Fine. Give me a moment to check my e-mail and then we can run off to some secluded buffet." After saying this she heard a small sound from outside her door. It sounded as if someone was slowly releasing the air from a balloon but it was only her mother excited about eating.  
  
Rory signed onto AOL, still wondering where the little man was running to in such a hurry. "You've Got Mail!" Of course she had mail, she hadn't been online in three days. As she looked through and sorted out the junk mail from the non-junk mail, she couldn't help but notice the one.  
  
To: Rory Gilmore From: Jess Mariano   
  
Subject: I'm sorry  
  
Dear Rory, That's the best I could do in trying to come up with an awarding winning opening. What do you think? By now, you know I am gone. When you probably read this, if you ever do assuming you hadn't already deleted it in anger, I will have found my father. Rory, I am in Venice Beach. I didn't know how to tell you that I was leaving, because I didn't want to see you cry. You mean too much to me, and I know you are questioning that last statement but please continue to read. I'm not graduating Rory. I failed, and in order for me to even receive a diploma I have to go to summer school and pass. I'm not that kind of person Rory, and you know it. The only thing I have ever been dedicated to other than searching for the supposed, "Great American Novel," is you. I have never felt more at home than with you. Be that as it may, I still wanted family. Wanted to know why my father left me and more. I know Luke said something to him about seeing me when he came to Stars Hollow. It's the kind of thing he would do. Please do not blame yourself for my absence. I will return someday. I love you Rory Gilmore and always will. Graduate and smile, for me.  
  
Love, Jess  
  
Rory couldn't believe what she was reading. Jess had left her to find his father. Not to find him though, because apparently he already found him, but to be with him. She didn't know what to think by the e-mail's contents. There was a knock on her door once more.  
  
"What do you get when Lorelai doesn't eat?"  
  
"I'm coming. If you can't wait a few more minutes I don't know how you'll ever survive the car ride," Rory shouted to her mother on the other side of the door.  
  
"I'll sing along to whatever is on the radio. karaoke in the Gilmore car," Lorelai shouted back.  
  
Rory shut off AOL and just sat there staring at the screen a moment. Why didn't he tell her first? If he really loved her, why didn't he just explain himself to her sooner?  
  
"I'm getting really impatient. If you don't hurry I will be forced to sing "Wind Beneath My Wings," and I promise you, it won't be pretty."  
  
Rory grabbed her purse and opened her door.  
  
"Sing it mom, and I promise that graduation you will have to sit next to Grandma from the moment you come in, until the moment when I come back after marching back inside the school. Even if I have to super glue the seat."  
  
"You wouldn't dare."  
  
"Whose child am I?"  
  
Lorelai stopped and thought about this for a moment, playfully. "Well if you're mine, you will do it."  
  
"I'm hungry now. See what you did!" Rory groaned as she flew down the stairs and out to the car.  
  
"No my fault you took so long." Lorelai replied.  
  
As she made her way to the car, Lorelai saw a familiar figure standing on her porch.  
  
"Rory, go start the car. I will be there in a minute."  
  
"Okay." Rory replied and ran off. She needed time to herself anyways, and this was the quickest way to achieving her goal.  
  
As Lorelai looked around for a moment, she noticed the man kept playing with his hands in a very nervous like manner.  
  
"Luke?" 


	5. Whispers in the Wind

After letting two of my friends read the last chapter (they didn't leave reviews, so I took care of them), they told me to continue. As I am writing this, the one friend is leaning over my shoulder trying to figure out how I am going to end this fan-fiction. Wouldn't she like to know?  
  
Disclaimer: I still wished I owned the rights to Gilmore Girls. I love the show, and love supporting it by writing fan-fiction. Please don't sue me, because adding to the list of stuff in my pockets I can give you I have a receipt from a local bookstore. Don't worry I didn't spend any money, I used a gift certificate my father gave me. You could have had that, had I not used the entire thing on books.  
  
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Lorelai had seen him standing there, and now she was coming over to investigate. Luke stood there trying to reason with himself. He didn't know what to say, and now he had forgotten the reason he came over to the Gilmore house altogether. Seeing her walking towards him made him forget everything.  
  
"Luke? What are you doing here?"  
  
Lorelai looked at him curiously. He was very nervous and when Luke was nervous things could never turn out for the best.  
  
"Lorelai, Jess is in California."  
  
"Luke, are you sure? Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"  
  
Luke looked down at his feet. Stupid, he knew that Jess was not the reason he came to the Gilmore house this evening.  
  
"I guess I was trying to keep it from Rory."  
  
"Well, she doesn't seem to be taken the news very well about his leaving."  
  
Lorelai looked at the man standing there. He looked like a little boy that knew there was more to the story than he was telling. She put her hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Luke are you alright?"  
  
"Lorelai, I don't know. I yelled at him before he left."  
  
"Well Luke you did the best you could. I mean, you can't save everybody in the world."  
  
"I know." Luke looked up at her now. Her hair fell lightly across the sides of her face, and a few strands lazy sat on her eyes.  
  
"You did a good job with Jess though Luke." She looked at him for a few moments and there was this feeling that kept growing inside of her. She never denied the fact that she had feelings for Luke, she just never acknowledged them either. His eyes had finally met hers now. Those soft eyes had comforted her through many storms, and without Luke, Lorelai didn't know where she would be.  
  
"I guess I should head back to the Diner."  
  
"Yeah, Rory and I were going out."  
  
She didn't want to mention that they were going to a buffet somewhere for fear of hurting Luke's feelings.  
  
"So I guess I will see you later, for coffee?"  
  
"It's our life force isn't it?"  
  
Lorelai smiled and Luke just melted. Rory honked the horn telling the two love sick puppies that her stomach needed substance.  
  
Luke looked at Lorelai once more. She looked back at him, and finally she couldn't take it anymore. She pulled him towards her, and as her lips pressed against his everything finally felt right. The kiss was short but in Luke's mind it could have lasted forever. Nothing else existed by Lorelai and the sweetness held in this kiss. Just as soon as she had kissed him, he opened her eyes and she was running away. He stood there for a moment as he watched the car pull away lost in his thoughts.  
  
"I love you Lorelai Gilmore."  
  
He said this a loud, but she wasn't around to hear it. He was alone. 


	6. A Revelation

Alright, sorry this updated chapter has taken me so long to produce. I have been busy closing every night at work. Everyone enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, sigh I wish I did. I don't make any money writing this, but if you really want something to compensate, you can have some coffee grounds. How about it? Just add hot water!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scene changes and we see rain spattering Rory's bedroom window. It's the next day, and she is still continued to her room. The trash can is overflowing with paper balls, possibly early drafts of her speech. Rain spatters the window, and she can't help but read the e-mail Jess sent her yesterday. In the background we hear, "If You're Not For Me" by Daniel Bedingfield.  
  
Rory leaned back in her chair and sighed. Her graduation was in two days, and she didn't even know where to begin with the speech. To top it all off, her heart felt like it had shattered into a million pieces. Where was she to go? What would make the emptiness disappear? Then her cell phone rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey." It was Lane on the other end. Probably calling to see how Rory's speech was going or something.  
  
"Hi Lane."  
  
"I had to talk to you. I didn't know who else to talk to."  
  
Lane sounded desperate, so Rory decided to be the best friend Lane had come to lean on whenever she needed to and talk to her.  
  
"Alright, what's wrong? Mama Kim didn't decide to lock poor David in the attic and have him read the Bible for the rest of his life, did she?" Rory joked a bit with Lane.  
  
Lane laughed slightly. Not a good sign, but one Rory could work with.  
  
"No, it's worse."  
  
"Well what could be worse? She didn't kill him did she?"  
  
"He said the three words."  
  
"Three words? I'm really hungry? I need coffee? The latter I applaud whole- heartily."  
  
"I love you." Lane was now on the edge of having a nervous break down and Rory's jokes were not helping.  
  
"That's good, isn't it? I mean you have been talking about how wonderful he is, and how much fun you guys have together." Rory remembered how she talked about Jess the same way. This conversation began to depress her, but she stayed on for Lane's sake.  
  
"I suppose, but I didn't think it would be this soon."  
  
"Well life has a funny way of doing things. Perhaps you should write the rules on telling someone you love them. Then have it published in your biography when you become famous."  
  
"As long as you write it."  
  
"Don't know if I can endure such a grueling task."  
  
"You can, tell yourself that every morning in the mirror until such a time."  
  
"I will, don't worry Master."  
  
"Well I suppose I should go before the head of the council comes back from the store. Call me later, okay?"  
  
"Will do Master Obi-wan."  
  
"Also, in my absence don't blow up any planets, or people for that matter."  
  
"I will try not to, Master"  
  
"Bye Rory."  
  
"Bye Lane." Rory hung up the phone. She stared at the screen for some time now, and hit the reply button on the e-mail.  
  
---------------------------------------Outgoing Message--------------------- --------------------------------------  
  
To: Jess Mariano From: Rory Gilmore   
  
Subject: What about us?  
  
Jess, I suppose I am supposed to say something along the lines of I hate you, and never speak to me again. I know I should be mad, but for some reason I can't find a reason to be mad. I make no sense I know, haven't been to Luke's yet for my daily three cups. Unless it's Sunday, oh look it is, now it's nine. I don't know why you did tell me about what was going on, or for that matter why you tried so hard to push me out of your life. I just, feel like I don't know you anymore Jess. That scares me.  
  
Rory -------------------------------------End Message---------------------------- -------------------------------------------  
  
Rory stared at the screen a few minutes and read the last line back to herself.  
  
"That scares me." She paused and didn't type anything. Instead she turned and looked out the window and the rain drops and said softly, "Because I love you." 


	7. Coffee House Response

So are we scratching our heads trying to guess where I am going with this? Haha, I knew you would be.  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own the rights to Gilmore Girls. When they sell the rights on Ebay, I'll probably bid on them. Anyway, I make no money writing about them and their lives here on fanfiction.net. I am only showing love and support for my favorite show. If you need compensation though, I could always add a Hershey kiss to the list of aforementioned items.  
  
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As we change from Rory looking at her computer screen in raining Stars Hollow, we move to Jess who is sitting in front of a computer screen in sunny California. He is reading the e-mail from Rory trying to figure out what to say in response.  
  
"Why!" He said it so the whole café could here. With no computer access at his father's house, he was doomed to cafes with internet access. He hadn't meant to say it so loudly but he was frustrated with everything in his life. His grades were poor, which meant another year in the prison known as High School and he rejected the only person that made him feel like he mattered.  
  
"Would you like another cup?" A young blonde asked him. Jess didn't even take notice and ignored her. He read the e-mail over and over, and one thing stood out most to him. "Why is she scared?"  
  
He hoped she wasn't conducting a Pros and Cons list again over whether or not he really cared for her. Jess knew deep in his heart that he had wanted to tell her the night before he left that he loved her. He did, and it was hard to say it to someone after all he had gone through in life. Putting himself out there, so vulnerable and open, he didn't know if he could do it. He clicked reply and began typing.  
  
--------------------------------------------------Out Going Message--------- --------------------------------------------  
  
To: Rory Gilmore From: Jess Mariano  
  
Hi, Still not great with these award winning openings, am I? I hoped you laughed a bit, or smiled at least. I saw that is was raining where you are today on t.v. Rory, why are you scared? I know it might seem rude to ask but I am curious. I was a jerk to you, and you knew I could be a jerk if I wanted to be, so why are you scared? Are you scared because you didn't know me? Or that what everyone said about me was true?  
  
Jess -------------------------------------------------End Message---------------- ----------------------------------------------  
  
He was a jerk and he knew it. A great girl had given him everything, and shared her deepest and most inner thoughts with him. This is how he repaid her, by running off and not telling her where he was going. He looked at the e-mail screen a few more minutes before clicking the send button. After it was sent, he logged off and walked out of the café.  
  
Everywhere Jess walked, there were couples so happy to be together. He had been that happy once too. Now the spark was gone from his eyes and he was alone. 


	8. Coffee Prayers and Fuzzy Slippers

Don't worry I'm not finished with the Luke and Lorelai thing. You have to keep reading my little addicts. Yes, my writing is like Lay's. Bet you can't just read one.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Lay's nor do I own their slogan. Though I do enjoy their snack food during late night cram sessions during finals week. I also don't own the rights to Gilmore Girls, and I don't get paid for any of this, so as a gift to the owners I give them everything mentioned in the other chapters and a Red Bull. Yes, I can get one of those into my pockets.  
  
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It was Monday, and Lorelai was in desperate need of coffee. What was she going to do? She could make it at home, but the Rory would know something was up and going to Luke's meant the awkward silent stuff. She had one fuzzy slipper on and her car keys in one hand. What was she to do? Just then Rory came down the stairs and into the kitchen.  
  
"Mom, fuzzy slippers and a skirt don't mix."  
  
"You're one to talk. That sweater is so last season."  
  
Rory glared a moment at her mother and then Lorelai knew what had happened.  
  
"Oh no, it's happening. I'm becoming an air-head."  
  
"It could be worse, you could be in a straight-jacket by now, but I haven't had my coffee yet. Which brings me to my next point, where is the coffee?"  
  
Lorelai quickly tried to come up with an excuse.  
  
"I drank it all."  
  
"I doubt it, considering that the coffee maker isn't on and I can smell coffee a mile away. Granted, it's not as good as you 4.5 miles and 10 once outside of the city, but it's getting there."  
  
Lorelai looked at her feet.  
  
"I'm contemplating on going to Luke's or not."  
  
"Why? I thought that was the morning ritual. You know? We get up, get dressed, say a morning prayer to the coffee Gods, and then head over to Luke where we praise our Keeper of the Sacred Liquid."  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Lorelai Gilmore, you are not allowed to be the child here. Now tell me, what's wrong?"  
  
Quickly Lorelai blurted it out. "I-kissed-Luke-and-now-he-probably-thinks- I'm-a-freak-and-there-will-be-this-tension-that-I-don't-want."  
  
What a mouthful, Rory thought. She looked at her mother.  
  
"Do you like Luke? And don't lie, because I can read you like a book."  
  
"We all know how many books you read so that means I don't lie so well, huh?"  
  
"Yes, it does. Now mom, spill."  
  
"I may think he's cute. Though we need to burn the baseball hat."  
  
"I agree."  
  
"Well I am going."  
  
Rory jumped up with excitement.  
  
"To Luke's?"  
  
"I don't know yet, but I am."  
  
"Alright, then I guess I am on my own for my prayer?"  
  
"Yes, but don't forget to thank Foldger's and Maxwell House for their contribution to society."  
  
"Alright. Don't forget to tell Luke he may have a shot, if he burned the baseball hat."  
  
Lorelai gave her daughter a mean look and Rory shot one back at her. As she was out the door Rory noticed her mother's shoes sitting on the table. She picked them up and walked over to the door and held them out. Sure enough Lorelai came running back, "Shoes?"  
  
Rory handed them to her. "You have much to still learn, Padawan."  
  
Lorelai smiled and went out the door. Rory now was faced with one problem, there still wasn't any coffee and she was in dyer need of some. 


	9. A Song For Lane

After experiencing heart break this year, I think I have an idea of what Rory is feeling.  
  
Disclaimer: Still watching Ebay very intently. Oh well, I don't own Gilmore Girls, and I don't make any money doing this so please don't sue me. I can give you Vanilla Chai. It's really good. I have fallen in love with the stuff!  
  
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We switch back to Stars Hollow where Lane is staring out the window. It's Monday now, and she is waiting for David to call. She couldn't help but think about what Rory had said, and how it was only natural she loved Dave. She sighed deeply, and yet a little nervous. What did it mean being in love with someone? Would that mean Dave would expect more from her now? The phone rang.  
  
Lane picked up the phone, hoping partially that it was Rory.  
  
"Hello, is Lane there?"  
  
It was Dave. Oh well, so much for a dream.  
  
"Hey Dave, it's me."  
  
"Hi Lane. I wrote a new song for the band today."  
  
"Really? Can I hear it?"  
  
"Sure, give me a moment alright?"  
  
"Okay," Lane replied reluctantly. What was she doing? The whole point of this conversation was to address what happened on Saturday. Did he even remember what happened on Saturday? Then she heard it start faintly, a guitar somewhere in the background. It started off slowly, then it seemed to get a little faster as it went on into the lyrics.  
  
"(sung) I can't seem to take it. Whenever I"d reach for you, you'd pull away. Pull away. Sometimes I feel embarrassed, when you look at me that way. Me that way."  
  
Lane couldn't help but melt. He had written the song for her, and based on the first time they had met. Lane didn't know how to react when she first met Dave. She was so shy, and now she was confessing her soul to him sometimes. Telling him things that she had only told Rory before. Dave went into the chorus now and it was clear as day that he was truly in love with her.  
  
"Surrounded by the black clouds, of mis-er-ry. All I see is you, gui-ding me-."  
  
Dave sang his heart to her, the beautiful girl on the other end of the phone. He wanted to tell her in the only way he knew how that he was serious when he said he loved her. It had taken her by surprise, as it did him, but it just felt right. At the moment, he only saw Lane. The way her glasses rested on her face, and how she laughed at the smallest things. When he was done singing, he listened for a response. He didn't hear anything. Perhaps she had hung up, or just chosen not to speak. Maybe she was mortified that she loved someone. Did she think he was corny?  
  
"Dave, that was wonderful."  
  
That's it, he must have died. Somewhere between verse 2 and the bridge, his heart must have stopped beating. No, he lost oxygen going to his brain because he held a note to long and then he passed out. When he hit the ground he knocked his head and then he died. Dave though to himself for a moment, and then realized that if this was heaven, where was Lane? Oh no! He had gone to the other place.  
  
"Dave are you there? Did you hear me?"  
  
No he still heard the angel's sweet voice so perhaps he didn't die. He checked for a pulse, good there was still one there after all.  
  
"Yeah, Lane I'm still here. You liked it?"  
  
"Yes Dave, I liked it. When are you going to perform it for the guys?"  
  
They both laughed. She always knew what to say. Lane smiled on the other end.  
  
"I have to go Dave, but IM me later, okay?"  
  
"Alright, goodbye Lane. I love you."  
  
"You're lucky momma Kim is around right now. I love you too."  
  
His heart skipped a beat and he hung up the phone. He wasn't dead after all. Who knew heaven existed on Earth? 


	10. About the Other Night

Did anyone like Dave's song to Lane? I actually wrote that song, and there are more lyrics. It was for my ex-boyfriend. If you want to know how the song goes, e-mal me.  
  
Disclaimer: Still wished I owned Gilmore Girls, oh well, I will have to settle for praising it in this fashion. I offer the powerful and mighty ones-the creators-a movie ticket stub. I am getting down there in my pockets. Soon I will be offering things from my purse if I keep going. Trust me, you don't want anything from my purse. I am afraid to venture in it on some days.  
  
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Lorelai couldn't bring herself to do it, or discuss it for that matter. She stood outside of Luke's now for ten minutes weighing everything in her mind. Luke was with Nicole, true, but then why did he kiss her. Perhaps it was a fluke, and the moment was just there. Or maybe Luke did like her and he was going to leave a perfectly nice girl like Nicole for her.  
  
Inside Luke saw Lorelai standing there. She was pacing back and forth and when a Gilmore paced, it was never good. He felt like such a jerk. He kissed her and he knew he was with Nicole. The woman that he was going away with all summer, and yet there was this feeling inside of him that kept saying Lorelai. He had to be going mad. Call the psych ward now, because it was time they came and took him away.  
  
Lorelai paced some more, back and forth. If she kept pacing, a hole might develop. Why couldn't she just go in and pretend the whole thing never happened? Maybe because it did and there was really no avoiding it now. She looked inside at him. Still wearing that same stupid baseball hat, in the same stupid Luke way. The way she had come to admire him and care for him. Lorelai smacked her palm on her forehead. 'Bad,' she thought. 'Bad, bad, bad Lorelai.'  
  
Luke watched her now even more intently. She smacked herself, that must not be good. He knew there was only one way around this, and that was to tell her it was a mistake. That it shouldn't have happened and it was the emotions of the two that were running high. Yes, emotions about Jess. Okay, it was a lie, but it was a good one that might be plausible. Lorelai was walking in now and she sat down at the counter.  
  
"Good Morning Luke."  
  
"Morning Lorelai. Coffee?"  
  
"That fowl substance. Why would I ever want that?" She shot him a look of disgust.  
  
He hoped she was kidding.  
  
"Yes Luke, coffee. And lots of it."  
  
He smiled at her. As he poured the coffee he began to make some small talk.  
  
"What time is Rory's Graduation tomorrow?"  
  
"Oh it's at 4 o'clock."  
  
"Okay, I'll tell Caesar. I think he can hold down the fort till I return."  
  
"Have you talked to Jess recently?"  
  
"No, he hasn't contacted me at all."  
  
"Oh. Well he hasn't contacted Rory yet either, but she keeps getting calls on her cell and there is no number. When she picks up, no one is there."  
  
"That's weird."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Luke looked at her a moment as she sipped at her coffee. He figured maybe they should put the kiss behind them and never speak of it again.  
  
"Well I have to meet Sookie. She will go nuts without me. Goodbye Luke."  
  
"Goodbye Lorelai."  
  
As she walked out the door, Luke couldn't help but think how wonderful she looked today. But perhaps it was time to move on with his life and forget about Lorelai Gilmore. No matter how much it pained him to do so. 


	11. On the Eve Before Graduation

Okay, well I am getting to the end. I am sure people are sitting on the edge of their seats now going, "What then?" Well don't worry I will not be leaving, in fact I have more ideas floating in my head as we speak. Thank you for the reviews, though they have been few, I still think this story is great.  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own anything related to, concerning , or even remotely related to the Gilmore Girls. Though I can offer the owners of my favorite show some Skittles. They were in my purse. I don't know how old they are, but they still have flavor. ^_^  
  
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Rory sat there now, and the sun had just set upon the sleepy town of Stars Hollow. This was her last school night. In twenty-four hours she would no longer be a high school teenager, but a high school graduate. The thought sent a shiver down her back and then Lorelai came in the room.  
  
"Hey honey," she kissed her daughter's head, "Ready for tomorrow?"  
  
Rory shrugged. She didn't think she was ready for anything, not right now at least. Lorelai sat down on Rory's bed and Rory was still staring at that cursed screen.  
  
"What are you up to?"  
  
"Nothing," Rory replied.  
  
"Oh, well I talked to Luke today."  
  
"How did it go?"  
  
"We didn't mention the topic of 'us' instead we skipped around it."  
  
"Mom, it's not going to help if you keep acting like you are in middle school. He's not the kid that pulled your hair and teased you, and you teased him back because you didn't know how to start dating. This is real life, you have to express what you feel to people or they will never know how you truly feel. They'll never know what role they play in your life."  
  
Lorelai sat there in shock. Her daughter knew more about the ways of love and relationships then she ever did.  
  
"Since when did you become the expert on relationships?"  
  
"I always have been and you know it."  
  
"So you ready for graduation?"  
  
Rory winced, she hated thinking about having to give her speech in front of so many people. In front of all those eyes. "I suppose."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I don't know if I can really move on, from high school."  
  
"Don't worry, you can and will. Yale will be wonderful and we can make the best of it."  
  
Rory quickly changed the subject. She didn't want her mom to know what was really on her mind at the time.  
  
"So what book have you decided to take with you on our trip?"  
  
"Books, to be more precise. I can't decide. Maybe we shouldn't go."  
  
"And miss out on all the hot Italian food? No!"  
  
Lorelai stood up and yawned. "Well I am tired, so I think it is best if I retire."  
  
"Alright, night mom."  
  
"Night Rory."  
  
Lorelai left and made her way up the stairs to her room. Rory still stared at the screen. There was a one e-mail in her mailbox. The one she had read a dozen times but couldn't seem to bring herself to delete it. Jess had responded, worried it seemed. She knew why she was scared, but couldn't find a way to go about telling him. She clicked the reply button, in hopes that something would come to her.  
  
----------------------------------------Out Going Message------------------- ---------------------------------  
  
To: Jess Mariano  
  
From: Rory Gilmore  
  
Hey, there's a better one for your award winning openings. Why am I scared? Deep inside......  
  
--------------------------------------End Message--------------------------- ---------------------------------  
  
No, that was horrible. She wanted to be a journalist, a writer, and all she could produce was, "Deep inside..." She needed to read more if she was ever going to be ready for Yale. Deeply Rory breathed in, taking in the events of the past few days, then of the past year. Her mind wandered and eventually brought the image of his face to her mind. With his insecure nature and childish reactions. Rory breathed out deeply and softly, and she remembered the first time he had kissed her. A smile crept across her face and she began to close out her e-mail account.  
  
"I can't do this. Not like this anyway."  
  
She said it aloud but knew no one was around. There was only one way to tell Jess that she was scared and she needed to hear his voice. But where could she reach him? Luke might know, but then why didn't he tell Rory. Then her cell phone rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
There was no answer, just silence.  
  
"Hello??"  
  
Still nothing but silence. Rory hung up. Miles away in Venice Beach, CA, Jess listened to Rory hang up. Why couldn't he just bring himself to say hello to her. Every time he heard her voice, everything about the last night he was there came to his mind. Then all the pain he must have put her through. He sighed deeply and couldn't understand why he just couldn't even say he was sorry. He banged his head against the pay phone. What did he fear? He already lost her due to his idiotic decisions, what more did he have to lose? Softly, but unwillingly, he placed the phone down on the receiver. Sticking his hands in his pocket, but not before zipping up his coat, he walked away. Perhaps he would try again tomorrow. Maybe then he could get himself to at least say hello. 


	12. A Quick Note From the Author

Quick note to all: I have graduation this week (do a cheer for me if you wish) so after Tuesday, June 3rd, 2003 please look here for the next chapter. A few things about the next few chapters towards the end, they are very important! I can't stress that enough for those that like to jump to the end, you won't understand anything unless you read the chapters before it. I promise they will be cool and interesting, and you will be hooked to your computer screen every night yearning for more. I do not jest, by the time I get three chapters up there will be six new e-mails wanting more. So until Wednesday, love ya! ~Ashley~ 


	13. Ten AM Graduation Day

Alright everyone, we are getting there. Thanks for the congratulations towards graduation! It was awesome and now I can finish the end. Anyway, here's how the next few chapters work, it's graduation day, but it's broken into hours. So every chapter is going to reflect a certain hour, and they will be titled. So read on my little Gilmore-aholics.  
  
Disclaimer: Still don't own any part of this wonderful show and I don't make any money from it. But the producers, if they want anything, can have my tassel.  
  
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The Hour of 10 A.M.  
  
Rory rolled over and noticed that her alarm clock had been buzzing for quite some time. She grumbled for a moment and rolled over to notice her mother hovering over her. Another loud moan and she pulled the covers over her head. It was a dream, it wasn't happening. She, Rory Gilmore was still asleep and when she woke up there would be no problems with Jess or speech she would have to give in a few hours.  
  
"Wake up sleepy head."  
  
"Go away figment of my imagination, brought on by too much caffeine in a teenager's diet."  
  
"I resent that."  
  
"Fine. Brought on by that buffet's mash potatoes. Happy?" Rory rolled over to her left side trying best as she could to avoid Lorelai.  
  
"You have to get out of that bed some time today!"  
  
"That's what you think."  
  
Lorelai jumped on Rory and began to tickle her. This feeling brought Rory back to thoughts about her childhood and how her mother used to do this to her right before school every morning. When they were done the tickle war and Rory gave in to her mother they sighed. Lorelai looked at her daughter. She was on the verge of being a young woman, and leaving Lorelai. Only for a few months at a time right now, but what about after she graduate college? Would she really be able to handle such a thing? Lorelai looked at Rory.  
  
"Time you get dressed and get some breakfast. Did you get the heels for your dress yesterday?"  
  
"Yeah mom."  
  
Lorelai got up and walked out of the room. Rory sat up in bed and noticed her mortarboard next to her bed. She took it into her hands now. To think in another few hours she would no longer be a young adult, but and adult. Then a college freshman. Was she really to grow up and leave? Leave the house she had known all her life? Leave her mother to watch movies all alone on movie night? Rory shook her head. What was she thinking? She would be home to watch the movies every now and again and her mom and her had a telephone. She looked at the tassel, 2003. She thought this day would never come, and that nothing could ever shatter her world. She thought about Jess now, and how he had left her here. Her broken heart sitting in his hands in California. Every moment a tear fell from her eye. She didn't know why, whether it was for graduation or Jess or just because.  
  
She pulled herself out of bed and walked over to the mirror. In her mind a flashback came to her about the day she had started at Chilton. Her mom so eager to get her girl to school and Rory still in shock. Now she was graduating and was Valedictorian. A rare honor indeed. She looked hard into the mirror searching for the Rory she once knew. The Rory before Jess and just before Dean. The sweet innocent and naive Rory, just entering a new world. A world of possibility and unlimited chances.  
  
Now she only saw the Rory after the painful loss of Dean and the union of her and Jess. The union that ended with him running out of her life. Now only hearing him in e-mail fashion. Pain and sorrow lied within those eyes that were so dreamy and hopeful not less than three years ago. There was no hiding it.  
  
Rory walked silently towards her the black gown. In a few hours, there would be no mistake she would be wearing this distinguished garment. She ran her fingers gingerly down the front of it and a tear fell from one eye. Jess, she thought silently. Where are you? 


	14. Another Note After My Long Silence

Okay a author's note: I am going to finish this story because my room mate at college has yelled at me enough. So, be on the lookout soon for updates...sorry I have been slacking but school has been difficult and the summer wasn't any better.  
  
-Ashley Scott ^_^ 


	15. Seven AM in California Graduation Day

As I promised, I am back. My roommate poked at me enough to finish this work that now I look back on and can't believe I wrote. Honestly, I can write better than that now. Thanks for being patient with me, and I hope the end does make everyone sit in shock.  
  
Disclaimer: A year later and I still don't own the rights to this show *snaps fingers in disappointment*. Oh well, if they really want to sue me they will have to stand in line. I still owe my University 8 grand and then next years tuition. Have fun waiting for that money! *laughs* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The Hour of 7AM  
  
Jess lied there on the porch. He slept outside again last night. It was a nice night, unlike those back in Stars Hollow. Slowly he began to sit up and look out upon California. A moment passed and then his eyes lowered to his feet. Why did he feel this way? Why did he feel like something was missing?  
  
Something made a noise behind him. Slowly he turned his head and began to look around. He thought he had heard..no it couldn't be her. She was miles upon miles away now. He was here. Here in this place escaping everyone and everything.  
  
"What the hell am I doing?" as he lowered his head into his hands he asked himself. He was pondering that question for some days now. He couldn't stop thinking about her, but he also couldn't go back. Everyone hated him. She hated him. Didn't she?  
  
A noise from behind him disturb his pity party. It was Jimmy.  
  
"What do you want?" Jess looked hard at his father. Or Jimmy, he didn't deserve the title of his father.  
  
"Just wanted to know if you wanted some breakfast?" Jimmy asked. He was trying to reach out to his son, but he knew deep down there was a wound so deep that it may never heal. Jess looked back at him now, and Jimmy began to feel the teenager's eyes dig deep into him. Judging him, wondering if it was a trick or sincere affection.  
  
"I'm fine." Jess coldly replied. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and stood up. "I'm going for a walk."  
  
Just like that he walked off. 


	16. The Hour of 11AM

The last chapter was short, yes I know. I made it that way really, but I think I should have written more as well. *sighs* Oh well, I promise this chapter makes up for it. There is a lot happening, so be patient with this chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: My plans have been foiled once more. I still don't own this series, but I can give the owners some coffee.  
  
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The Hour of 11AM  
  
Rory stared at the computer screen once more. She realized that she had been doing this a lot recently. Re-reading Jess' e-mails and thinking about the summer. Was this trip right for her? Of course it was. Her mother and her have been planning this since she was, well as far back as she could remember. Still, she wished that Jess only knew how she felt.  
  
---------Out Going Message-------------------------------------------------- ----------- To: Jess Mariano From: Rory Gilmore  
  
What am I scared of? Could it be the fact that the one person I shared everything with in my life ran off? Without saying goodbye you were gone? Or that I truly...  
  
Why was this so difficult? Rory sighed deeply and let her body slouch back into her chair. If only there was another way to do this. What choices did she have other than to sit there? She began to slip into a light nap when she was disturbed by a knock on the door.  
  
"Honey? Are you there?"  
  
"Depends. If you are from Chilton wanting me to give my speech, then no."  
  
Lorelai came in and stopped. "Are you alright?"  
  
"I'm fine." Her mother raised an eyebrow in question to this response. "I am fine."  
  
Rory moved herself from her chair to her bed on this note. She couldn't sit there, at that screen anymore. She couldn't stand thinking about graduation, about Jess, or about life anymore.  
  
"Honey, are you scared about graduation?" Lorelai took a seat next to Rory on her bed. She placed her arms around her, as she had done many times before when comforting Rory.  
  
"Mom, what if you felt like you didn't know someone anymore?"  
  
Lorelai frowned. It was about Jess. All her emotions right now were based around him. She was depressed because of him.  
  
"I don't know honey, to tell you the truth."  
  
----------------------------------Scene Changes to Luke's------------------- -----------------------------------  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Uncle Luke?"  
  
"Jess?"  
  
"Is she okay?"  
  
"Rory?"  
  
"Yeah, is she okay?"  
  
"Jess, I don't know. She could be depressed, seeing as you left town and didn't tell her. Then left me with the difficult task of informing her."  
  
The line was silent and then nothing. Jess hung up the phone. 


	17. The Hour of 12PM

Another Chapter. When reading this I encourage everyone to listen to Hoobastank's "Running Away." It fits the way I want you to feel during this chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: Why don't I own this show? Because I seriously am not brilliant enough to create something so addicting.  
  
The Hour of 12 PM  
  
Jess sat there looking back on his life. On the past year to be specific. Why am I running away? What are your running away from Mariano? Then suddenly it came flooding back to him. The smug look of bagboy, the fight, Rory, high school, Shane, Rory, Luke's, Wal-mart, Rory, and then she was looking at him. He could see her now, smiling at him. Her hair falling gently on her face as it always did.  
  
Back in Stars Hallow, Rory was standing in front of her mirror once more. She was looking at herself wearing her graduation cap and gown. Was this what she wanted? To be moving on without someone she cared about? Why was he running away? What did he have to run from? She couldn't think of any other person she'd want more to see right now then him. She looked at herself once more. Did he love her?  
  
In the kitchen Lorelai looked into her coffee for the answers she had been searching for. Why did she kiss Luke? Why couldn't she tell him how she felt? Was it because she cared about him so much? She stirred the sugar around and around in the black abyss. She sighed and placed her hand on her cheek. She had to go tell him.  
  
Meanwhile, Luke was wiping down a counter. Why did Jess call here? What was going through that boy's head? Leaving a Gilmore. They were annoying at times, and their rants were scary when they were together, but they were also amazing at making someone feel better. Lorelai had always been the one to make Luke feel different. She really brought a change to his life. She was unpredictable, and that was something he loved. Unlike himself, reserved and conservative. But it was time to move on. Lorelai Gilmore didn't feel the same way for him. It was time to think about his future, and to think about other people.  
  
The scene fades back to Jess looking through a window. It's muggy out. Would he be too late? Why didn't he give her a chance to show him that there was hope? Was there hope?  
  
Rory looked back at herself. Was there hope? She straightened her mortarboard and then looked at herself once more. Only four hours left now. Soon she'd be giving a speech that would make her a hypocrite in many people's eyes. She talked about following your heart and experiencing everything life had to offer. When in reality she was sitting here, conforming to a future she had planned. Her heart wasn't here. Her heart was miles upon miles away. In a place she had never been. A noise startled her and she looked out the window. Nothing.  
  
Lorelai stood outside Luke's now. He was still wearing that stupid baseball cap. In all the years she knew Luke why didn't she burn the stupid thing? He wore it the same way, the same stupid backwards hat way. He was so set in his ways. Always set in his ways. But always comforting her as well. Especially when it came to Rory. The night Rory and Jess were in a car accident, Luke was there. She looked at him once more. Could she really do this? Was there any hope?  
  
Rory shook her head, it was nothing. Was she running away? Was Jess right all along? He went to California because he was following his heart. Where did her heart lie? She unzipped her gown and took off her mortar board to reveal a white dress. Her heart belonged to him. She had to find his number, had to reach him. That involved hunting down Luke. 


End file.
